Beyond Behaviour: Understanding School Refusal Through the Body - Our Family’s MNRI Journey (Part 3)
Published: 1 March 2026
School refusal can often be a big challenge for families - with children acting out when they have to get to school. In this month’s blog, our guest writer, Sophia Klopp (@positivedisciplinesg), Certified Parent Educator, shares her family's ongoing journey with Neural Connections. After more than three years of an uphill battle of school refusal with her son, Sophia writes how MNRI® and Neural Connections offered her a new lens through which she could finally understand her son's behaviour.
In Part 1, I shared how school refusal shifted from something I was trying to manage behaviourally into something I began to understand through the nervous system.
In Part 2, I shared what changed when we started supporting my son’s body through MNRI.
This final part is about something many parents have asked:
How do you actually practise MNRI at home — especially when your child resists?
Because let’s be honest — adding anything new into family life takes energy. Most of us are already stretched. We are all parenting with the capacity we have in the moment. And our children are doing the same.
For me, it mattered that MNRI didn’t become another thing I imposed out of urgency. I didn’t want it to turn into a power struggle or something that created more stress in the name of reducing stress.
Over time, I found that combining MNRI with Positive Discipline principles made all the difference.
Here are the three tools that helped us most.
1. Connection Before Correction (or Instruction)
When my son said, “I don’t want to do MNRI,” I’d notice myself reacting inside. It’s hard not to — especially when I know it has been helping him AND I finally have time to do it!
But I learned that regulation cannot grow from pressure.
So instead of convincing, I started with connection.
“It sounds like you don’t feel like doing it right now.”
“Are you tired?”
“Do you need some space?”
Sometimes he genuinely didn’t want to be touched. Sometimes he wanted control. Sometimes he was just done for the day.
When I slowed down and connected first, resistance often softened. And if it didn’t, we paused.
Because the goal was never compliance. The goal was safety.
2. Collaborative Problem-Solving
Positive Discipline taught me that kindness and firmness can coexist.
There were days he didn’t want to practise. Instead of pushing through, we problem-solved together.
“What would make this easier?”
“Should we do one reflex instead of two?”
“Morning or bedtime?”
Sometimes we shortened it to two minutes.
Sometimes he chose which one.
Sometimes we skipped and agreed to try the next day.
Involving him didn’t make things slower — it built ownership. And when children feel agency, their nervous systems often relax.
MNRI became something we were doing together, not something I was doing to him.
3. Encouragement, Not Performance
There were weeks where we were consistent. There were weeks we weren’t. Life happened.
I stopped measuring success and started noticing effort instead.
“I noticed you continued finishing your homework even when you didn’t want to write anymore.”
“You seem calmer this morning and did your morning routine by yourself.”
“You seem less frustrated today.”
Encouragement builds internal motivation. It helps children feel capable rather than evaluated.
And for me as a parent, it also meant giving myself grace. If we missed days, we returned. If I felt depleted, we adjusted. Capacity matters — for adults and children.
Hsiao often reminded us to practise the reflexes we felt confident doing at home rather than stressing over the most technical ones that’s most beneficial for our child. A couple of exercises a few times a week was enough to support the nervous system. That permission kept this sustainable for our family.
What About Consent?
One question that comes up often is:
“What if your child says no?”
In our home, that matters.
We explain what we’re doing and why. We ask. We listen.
If he didn’t want direct touch, sometimes we worked over clothing. Sometimes we used a blanket. Sometimes we waited. And sometimes, I’d gently redirect his attention — letting him listen to a podcast, watch a show, or chat about something he enjoyed while I did the exercises. He received them willingly.
The goal was to keep MNRI exercises a neutral or positive experience. I knew that once I say, “we HAVE TO do this” and force him, it becomes a negative experience and I will get more resistance in the future.
Respecting his boundaries didn’t weaken the process — it strengthened trust. And trust, I’ve learned, is deeply regulating.
What This Integration Taught Me
MNRI gave us support for the body.
Positive Discipline gave us support for the relationship.
Together, they helped us move away from urgency and toward partnership.
School refusal didn’t change because I persuaded him.
It changed because his nervous system gradually felt safer — and our relationship stayed steady while that happened.
For any parent exploring this work, I would say:
Start small with 1-2 exercises.
Stay connected.
Involve your child.
Adjust according to capacity.
When in doubt, do embrace squeeze (or whatever your child’s favourite MNRI exercise is).
No one needs to do this perfectly. We are all learning alongside our children.
About Sophia Klopp
Sophia’s family started their journey with Neural Connections in April 2025. She is a mother of three (19, 14, and 9), Certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator, Trauma-Informed Facilitator, and Co-Director of Chapter Zero Singapore. Sophia shares practical strategies and Mindful Communication techniques to help parents, caregivers, and educators build respectful, authentic connections with children.
To learn more about Positive Discipline strategies, follow Positive Discipline Singapore on Facebook and Instagram at @positivedisciplineSG. You can also follow Sophia’s respectful parenting journey at @betheircalm on Instagram. You can also learn more about Chapter Zero Singapore and its trauma-informed, neuro-affirming work in compassionate communication, play, The Mindful Educator, and The Mindful Caregiver at https://www.chapterzero.org/.
At Neural Connections, we focus on offering treatment and protocols to help neurodiverse children regulate their emotions and behaviour better. Schedule a Discovery Call with us today to see if we can help.
